DEAD BUG CENTRAL

Once upon a time, I had a bike with a screen. This meant open-face helmet riding all summer long, visor up, without ever noticing the insect life, at least until time came to clean the bike, when I’d suddenly realise my headlight, my indicators, the backs of my mirrors and my screen had all become Dead Bug Central. And as those who’ve ever had to remove insect guts from glass or plastic know well, it’s not actually that easy. They respond best to warm soapy water and a fair degree of elbow grease, depending on how long it’s been since they landed.

The screen used to save me from a large part of the headwind, almost all the insect life (and death), a lot of the pollen and a lot of the dirt.

Now, I have a bike with no screen, and still an open-face helmet. This makes me the sole target for the headwind, which isn’t so bad, if only because motorways are generally pretty boring, so I tend to be confined to under 70mph. My bars, my riser, my jacket, my helmet, my visor, my sunglasses, my face and my eyes are now the landing place of choice for pollen, dirt, and – you guessed it – insects of all shapes and stripes.

I don’t know if it’s really much compensation that the mirrors and indicators are less bug be-spattered these days.