Thursday 12 September 2013

Traffic jams and ear worms

When we left Villach on Sunday morning, we were ignorant of the chaos that awaited us on the roads. We knew there'd be traffic, and a load of bikes, because the rally was ending and that meant about 100,000 people going home.
The police had switched over from checking bikes to checking cars - apparently there is a certain amount of crime attached to Faaker See. About 15 bikes were stolen this year, and about 10 were recovered from one Dutch national when the cops checked his truck. No wonder they like you to carry your papers.
Anyway, everything was all right through Austria. It was busy and there were queues, but you could filter. The Austrians have a delightful practice of forming and emergency lane space between the queues of cars, up which bikes can stroll at leisure. Provided, of course, no actual emergency vehicle comes along.
Then we hit Germany. And halted.
The German schools were going back this week, apparently, so it wasn't just the rally-goers but what seemed like the entire German population heading home. At one petrol stop, we waited half an hour for   access to a pump.
On top of which, the Germans, like the British, consider summer to be the best time for roadworks and diversions.
Years ago, on the M4 near Reading, I got stuck in a similar cone-defined marmalade, and passed the time by rewriting a far too cheerful tune, which ran on an increasingly sarcastic loop  (which the Germans call an "ear-worm") through my head as I inched my way across Bavaria:
"Deck the roads with lots of back ups/ tralalalala, lala, lala
Tis the season to have roadworks/ tralalalala, lala, lala
Tempers fray, road-rage apparent/ tralala, lalala, la, la, la
Everyone is getting nowhere/ tralalalala, lala, lala"

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